Laurel in 2020

Well 2020 has been quite the year hasn’t it!! I’m taking some time to reflect and ponder on our lives the last 6 months. These words have been on my mind lately, along with the word meditation. I keep coming to the conclusion that I need to take time to stop. To really reflect, ponder and meditate. About faith, family, friends, work...about all of it! So join me on a journey as I reflect on our 2020 thus far.

January

Settled and happy. We are in St Louis Missouri. Randy is working for LPL financial. L E F is booming!! 2019 was an amazing push into building the business that I wanted. Now 2020 was laid out to be my best year ever!! Luke is 8 months old. Crawling (I think..) and being the cutest dude ever. Also a ton of work! But I’m figuring out balance, and I love being a stay at home mom with the best job ever!! 

February

READY!! Randy and I are putting together our kickstarter for Ralalu!!! We’ve been working on this since before Luke was born, and we are SO pumped to see it come to life!!!! Some weird things are happening in the world, but we are NOT phased what so ever. We’re even looking at houses! We love Randy’s job, and I’m loving L E F, and everything is just going really well. We know that we want to eventually end up in California, but Missouri is great and we could see us being here another 5 years! Maybe?

March

I think i’m crazy. In the first few weeks a few things start to close down, but we decided to move forward with our Kickstarter sans the party. No news from brides yet, everyone seems to plan on moving forward! Ralalu takes off, and adds this whole new level to my life! I’m no longer just a mom, or a mom and photographer/business owner, but a stay at home mom, with a photography career and brand new business where I’m basically the sole person making anything happen. With the best support from my husband btw.

April

All my friends are dead.. With covid taking over the world and shutting down schools,  all of our friends who were at chiropractic school wait home to be with family.  Church also closed. So now we have literally been stripped of our community. Don’t worry, all of my weddings start to get postponed too!!

May

Happy Birthday Luke!!! Okay this was one of the best days celebrating our little dude’s ONE YEAR BIRTHDAY!! It was just the three of us. But it was SO special. I have such great memories of playing in the hose, Luke on his new bike, and chocolate EVERYWHERE. More weddings and sessions postponed due to COVID.

June

New experiences. Now the only thing I have on my plate is designing a new website because Ralalu is going nowhere, I’m going nowhere, and Randy has to be in the office. So now I’m lonely, and feel purposeless. GRANTED I’m still taking care of Luke everyday. We go on long walks, play at the park, sweat a lot, and get eaten by bugs..thanks STL..hha I start getting down on myself and feel like I’m always in a funk. I’m always sad, and always looking for validation and comfort. I get stressed about silly things and am just not myself. I don’t know who I am.

July

Interviewing. Figuring out that I am experiencing some depression and anxiety for the first time in my life is hard. It’s good to call it out for what it is and talk to people to people who are going through similar things. A lot of my friends are actually feeling this way. COVID-19 put us all into a new funk we’ve never been through. But we get to go to CA for the 4th and it solidifies our desire to move back home. Randy is officially interviewing for jobs and flying out to CA for interviews, back to back weeks. 2 offers. Great firms. Great people. Great locations. We decide that we want the firm in Corona, CA. The one we had kind of been dreaming of for a while. Boom. Job accepted, tell current firm, start packing.

August

Moving to Orange County. I’ve moved a lot in my life, and am always a little sad to leave and be in a new place. But this time it just feels like we upgraded EVERYTHING! Okay I do miss the people in STL a lot, but they were taken from me months ago. But I LOVE our new place. I love the area, and I LOVE being near family. We’re seeing them all of the time, and loving the short easy goodbyes. “See you soon!” Luke’s on the right time zone, starting to be more comfortable around grandparents and we’re feeling good. There are challenges that come with change. New jobs are hard to dive into, I’m rebuilding an entire clientele, and Luke’s adjusting. But we’re glad we’ve made the move. 

September

Finally decide it's time to take this by the reins. Find out my freak outs that I’ve been having for years are panic attacks and start a medication that kind of helps but also gives me TERRIBLE headaches. I stop and seek a more homeopathic approach to stress relief. EXERCISE being huge. Good vitamins and a few essential oils, meditation and managing time better. It’s helping. I’m not very good at keeping all the habits, but I can see that when I am consistent, I feel happy. And that’s a good thing. Feel so good to be happy. I feel like ME. I’m starting to meet and book new clients, put together styled shoots and am feeling like this is going to be so good.

October

It's just started. But I’m feeling confident that I’m working through my things and working towards the life that we want.